I Miss Me

Summer is halfway through and if I am to summarize what's it been about so far, it's been about juggling my time between household chores and Aliya's ballet lessons. I don't want to think I made the wrong decision of enrolling her in ballet, it's just that the schedule being spread out during the entire week kept me from doing something else. Maybe also because I was the sole guardian who brings her to school (we ride the school bus)and waits for her for almost two hours in a not so conducive waiting area... the waiting and the heat are taking a toll on me. There used to be Ate Ruby who accompanies her to school but now it's solely me. What's happening now is I just tend to squeeze in what other things I need to do on the times and days that I am not attending to the needs and schedule of Aliya and Romy. The past week, too, has been quite of a circus in the house, because Romy's 3 nieces and sister stayed for a few days. Don't get me wrong, I like that Aliya has playmates in the house and that she's always busy entertaining and socializing, but the fact remains that I am not used to having alot of people in the house, so that's another adjustment that I had to make. Romy's weekends had been and is still is packed with appointments, so I end up the one making way, adjusting, and compromising. I long for the normal and quiet weeks again, I long for a reliable helper again, I long for more time for myself again, when I don't have to always be in a rush doing things that I love because I need to wash the dishes, or prepare dinner, or entertain guests, or (gasp!) iron the clothes! Most of all, I want to find myself again, the relaxed, creative me. Not the harassed, pressured and always-in-a-rush me.